My guest told me he'd be up at 5am; I told him he was welcome to it. I had set my alarm for 6am and that was early enough for me. I find guests upset my routine a bit so I made sure I was ready for the morning by setting the alarm on my phone and putting it by my bedside. I had two of the lads staying with me and, after I'd gone to bed their father phoned a couple of times. You may wonder where this is leading!
In the morning darkness I heard grunting and what always sounds to me as if someone is trying to throw up. That meant my friend was up so it must be 5am and he's doing his Asian ablutions. There was no way I could get back to sleep so I lay there, waiting for my alarm to go off; it never did. I finally got out of bed. My phone was not by my bedside; why was it on the table in the living room with the alarm turned off and 8.05am showing on the dial? I kept trying to work it out but finally I decided to give up thinking about it.
Our traveller was due to be on the roadside in 25 minutes ready to start a day of touring. It had to be planned carefully because he has difficulty walking and, by the way he sweats and carries a little towel, he was going to need transport. I won't describe our efforts to get down to the ground floor as it was too excruciating. We managed to get to a place which could be found by a rickshaw driver and we ordered one using the app on my friend's phone. Seconds later he arrived. I'd written a list of places he should visit along with my phone number so we told the driver where to take him. He set off and I gave a quiet 'Hurray', took the boys home and headed back to my place in the knowledge that he was being cared for, had places to visit and all was well.
Half an hour later my peace ended. The phone rang. He was coming back. He was being cheated and taken all over the place. He was now waiting for me at a hotel so I had to walk to meet him. Apart from being cheated he'd lost the paper with all the place names on it and he said my young friend had it. I confronted my friend who jumped up and down in indignation; there was no way he'd kept the paper. I found my friend who tried to tell me what had happened but I switched off; the main thing was to get him started again. Rather than trying to get him up my three flights of stairs I took him to the travel office and made out another list. Again, we found a driver, my young friends explained what he should do with the tourist, I gave him the list and off he went. I mentioned that I couldn't figure out what had happened to the paper and one of the lads sheepishly produced it from his pocket. He'd used it to explain to the driver and then shoved it in his pocket. Back I went to continue my peace and quiet.
My tourist friend was supposed to join me for a young meeting at 6pm but he didn't come back. I'd had no communication from him and I realised I didn't have his phone number. At 6pm he phoned to say he was sitting looking at the river and would get a rickshaw home. He wanted details to tell the driver so I gave him all the information he needed. 1 1/2 hours later he phoned. He said his driver had no idea where he was going and couldn't speak English. He told me to speak to him, as if that would make any difference. Streets here are numbered so it's a very easy system but obviously, in this case, it wasn't. A bit later he phoned again; he said he was miles away and could I talk to the driver. I suggested he get out, pay him and find one who speaks English. He got out but he managed to find another one who didn't speak English and so, half an hour later I had another phone call. This time the driver spoke English but he had no clue about the streets I mentioned because he said he was far away from them. As a tourist I've often been lost but this was my first time for actually losing one. He couldn't tell me where he was and I couldn't help him. I finally got him to give the phone to the driver and to get him to phone a Cambodian friend. At 8.45pm he phoned; "I'm sitting in the restaurant we were in yesterday, I'm hungry, can you come and meet me."
I hadn't eaten either as I'd been waiting for him to arrive so we could eat together. On the other hand, a 9pm meal is not my idea of fun. It was a relief to walk up the street and find him waving merrily from the restaurant. I had to walk through the bar district, with dozens of short skirted young ladies shouting "Hello". It didn't work as I had other things on my mind. The driver had been in the area and my friend recognised the place so he decided it was better to be safe than sorry and he got out. He looked at the menu and asked if there were noodles. There were but he said he wanted American Chopped Suey - is that how it's spelt as my spellcheck doesn't like it? I reminded him if it wasn't on the menu they most likely didn't have it. It looked a lovely meal when it came and he was pleased with the meat but he wished there was a curry on the rice. I reminded him he was not in India. On each table were two bottles of sauces, which he tried; he then asked if there was any other sauce because he had some rice that needed to be spiced up. There wasn't, so he left the rice. I said to him - you seem to prefer tasting the spices to tasting the food, whereas I eat to taste the food. He said he'd calculated that he'd been cheated by the various drivers and had spent $15. I reminded him that if we'd chosen one single driver for the day he'd have paid $20.
It was a relief to be able to help him up the stairs to my place and to make sure he was safely tucked into bed as I had to make sure he got on his way tomorrow.
I'm sorry it's all about my trials and tribulations with a friend but there is a moral to the story - make sure visitors your home with maps, directions, words in the local language, phone numbers, street addresses and a survival kit in case of disasters. He actually enjoyed the day and ended up laughing, which was a relief.
